Why does a woman date someone and enter a relationship? Basically speaking, because she has something to gain from it. Maybe she needs company, maybe she wants intimacy or great sex, maybe she needs to feel safe and secure, or maybe she wants to start a family. There are so many reasons and they are different for each woman.
What a woman gains from a relationship is basically what you offer her. The closer your offering is to what she needs to gain, the more valuable you are to her. In the previous section, Segmentation, we talked about grouping women by the needs they have. You meet those needs by offering something that matches the need. The closer the match, the higher the value of the offering.
So what can you offer? What is your value to the women you are trying to attract? This is the question that you will learn to answer in this section. Why is this question important? Plain and simple, if your offering is not valuable enough to a woman, then she has no interest in you.
Everyone has personal value based on the quality of their offerings, and it is relative to a specific context. To understand how value works in the context of relationships, consider this example:
Let's say you're a manager and want to hire a new employee, Karen. You offer Karen a $60,000 a year salary. Karen flat out refuses. She won't accept anything less than $65,000 a year. That is what she considers she is worth, her sense of entitlement. She won't consider any offer of value less than that. So you make another offer: $63,000 AND 4 weeks of paid vacation every year. It is below Karen's threshold, but she said she will now consider it because the 4 weeks vacation added more value that makes the whole package fit within her entitlement. But Karen has 2 other offers from different companies: $67,000 and $69,000. They both have a value that meet her entitlement, and, of course, she is considering the one that pays more because it is of higher value to her.
But you really want to hire Karen. She seems like a great fit for the job. What can you do to tempt Karen? You have to increase your value to her. So you raise your offer to $69,000. It is the same as one of the other companies, but the 4 weeks of paid vacation make you more valuable in her eyes, and so she finally accepts. It is simple math. The highest value wins.
Dating is very similar. If you want to date Karen, the only way to succeed is if the value of your offering is higher than her entitlement threshold, and higher than the value of anyone else Karen is interested in. So your best chance is to try to convince Karen that your offering is more valuable than her other interests.
But what is someone's personal value?
Unlike a job which is mostly valued on financial gain, a man has many different qualities to offer that could be either interesting or repulsive to women. Your personal value is really the sum total of the value of your most important offerings. The higher the value of your offerings, the higher your value to a woman.
To make it even more complex, each woman scores these offerings differently, which means your personal value is different for each woman. So while one woman may value your looks, another may be interested mostly in your wealth. So how do you please them all? The answer is simply you cannot. You don't need to. You only need to please one. Whatever your offerings are, some women will find them appealing, and it is those women who you should focus on.
As you can see, it is important for you to identify what value you can offer women. When doing this, you need to consider value always from the viewpoint of the women you are trying to date. It doesn't matter what you value, but rather what they value.
So what can YOU offer them?
This is an exercise which you need to think hard about. To make it easier to think about it, start with the needs they have, and think of ways that you can satisfy those needs. Therefore, the offering you provide should match the needs that women have and can be grouped into the same corresponding categories:
Knowing this, it is easy to understand why so many women would do anything to date a famous musician or movie star. Celebrities usually have looks, have wealth, live a glamorous lifestyle, and, very importantly, offer the woman the bragging rights of dating a celebrity. So they have a wide range of offerings which are valuable to many women because they meet their physical, monetary, social, and emotional needs simultaneously. Their overall value becomes very high and that makes them very appealing.
You can also be appealing. It's just a matter of identifying what you can offer, and who wants it. To the women who want it, you are an attractive man.
In addition, it is not enough to offer them what you already have. You have been doing that and it hasn't worked out too well so far. You need to create new value for them that meets their need to increase the perception of your overall personal value. For example, if you are wealthy, it is not enough to say that you are wealthy. They already know that. They also know that there are hundreds of other wealthy men waiting for them. What can your wealth offer them that they cannot get from somewhere else? What is so special about you that can satisfy their needs? So instead, you mention that you love to travel, you live in luxury, you have a lot of free time, you go on adventures. Now what you offer has substantial value because she can picture herself as participating in whatever you have to offer. You are offering them the same thing, but in a more focused and less ambiguous way.
For each of the 10 needs-based segments you identified in the previous section, think of what you can offer to meet the needs of each segment. Think creatively and come up with specific solutions.